Well, sorry folks. This blog may be a little depressing, so consider youself warned before you read on:
I went and saw my father in the nursing home this Saturday. I haven't seen him since his stroke a few months ago, in fact, I hadn't seen in over a year. It's funny how sometimes the Lord pushes you in directions you've been avoiding. I received an anonymous phone call letting me know that someone in the care center was using my Dad's account for their own expenses. So I figured I better to get to the bottom of this and had to go to the care center to question the accused woman.
I used to think I could never resent anyone as much as I did my dad. But seeing him that day I couldn't help but love him, and I don't know how to deal with those feelings. My heart goes out to him, although I keep telling myself that he created this horribly lonely life.
On the other hand, as I was feeding him, and rubbing his neck part of me was thinking "you've dragged me back into your life. You've got me worried about your financial situation, worried about your care, so I'm no longer able to ignore you" which made me infuriated. But that's life, and there are no words to describe how unexpected life can be. Just when you think life is easy and worry free, God throws a curve.
In the few days I've had to absorb the situation, I've come to terms with my father, and have decided I will do everything I can to see that this last chapter of his life is handled as well as possible. I have recieved numerous phone calls about his financial situation and have had to take on much more responsibility for my Dad than I ever wanted to, but he's a different man. Seeing him in the state his in is making me remember more of the good about him, and I am grateful for that.
It's taken 12 years to see why the Lord has given me this specific trial, but I know now that it has made me be more patient and forgiving of human imperfections. Thanks for listening (or reading I guess)
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4 comments:
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Isn't it such a lesson in charity when the Lord puts us through trials? Please remember I am here if you need someone to talk to!
You are a bigger gal than I. Yes, it is funny how the Lord works. We can either work with him and get blessed or not, and learn the lesson the hard way. Good Luck.
Questy, you are an angel... I'm sure your Dad will look back and appreciate all you do for him knowing how hard it is for you.
I saw your story on the news. Just when you think people of the world can't get any crazier. The story was done very well. I hope things are working out.
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