Seeing the Big Picture

Well, sorry folks. This blog may be a little depressing, so consider youself warned before you read on:

I went and saw my father in the nursing home this Saturday. I haven't seen him since his stroke a few months ago, in fact, I hadn't seen in over a year. It's funny how sometimes the Lord pushes you in directions you've been avoiding. I received an anonymous phone call letting me know that someone in the care center was using my Dad's account for their own expenses. So I figured I better to get to the bottom of this and had to go to the care center to question the accused woman.

I used to think I could never resent anyone as much as I did my dad. But seeing him that day I couldn't help but love him, and I don't know how to deal with those feelings. My heart goes out to him, although I keep telling myself that he created this horribly lonely life.
On the other hand, as I was feeding him, and rubbing his neck part of me was thinking "you've dragged me back into your life. You've got me worried about your financial situation, worried about your care, so I'm no longer able to ignore you" which made me infuriated. But that's life, and there are no words to describe how unexpected life can be. Just when you think life is easy and worry free, God throws a curve.

In the few days I've had to absorb the situation, I've come to terms with my father, and have decided I will do everything I can to see that this last chapter of his life is handled as well as possible. I have recieved numerous phone calls about his financial situation and have had to take on much more responsibility for my Dad than I ever wanted to, but he's a different man. Seeing him in the state his in is making me remember more of the good about him, and I am grateful for that.

It's taken 12 years to see why the Lord has given me this specific trial, but I know now that it has made me be more patient and forgiving of human imperfections. Thanks for listening (or reading I guess)

Christmas... a month after.

I'm so bad at posting blogs because I feel like I never have anything new to say, but... hello! Christmas, I could post about Christmas! I have always loved being home for Christmas, Ryan and I have never traveled and we have no reason to. With both of our parents still living in Tooele we get to have our Christmas in the morning, go to one family's for more, and then the second family's for the rest. It's like one big long day of present opening and spending time with the ones you love, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This year we had to wake up early to open each other's presents because our niece and nephew were at Ryan's parents this year, and we wanted to watch their excitement. So I think we started the day around 6:00 am and rushed to the Lees at 7:30. Santa was good to those kids, the living room was filled! We were cracking up at our nephew Peyton who said "Hey! Those aren't supposed to be in there" everytime he opened clothes. So after Santa time was over, we had to rush back home to get ready for brunch with my family at 11:00. We were having all of my family over to our house this year, so I had to prepare for brunch. I love the fact that all of my family is here now, by brother Ryan and his family lived in Washington for so long that we only saw them on Christmas occationally. But now, with the whole family living near Tooele, it finally feels right.

Although it was a great day, it felt like Christmas was over by 2:00, which I wasn't used to. Below our some pictures of Christmas with my family, I wish I would have thought to take some at Ryan's parents as well.

An original water color done by my brother Eric.

My brother Eric, sister-in-law Amy, niece Brigitta, Mom, and Jim.

My nephew Taylor, brother Ryan, and sister-in-law Melissa.